very "sad" this week
...

I signed up for this mentoring programme with MCYC, went through the selection interview, but like 3days from then I've not received any calls... ...

Emailed UNI-Y orientation camp organisers TWICE but no reply either.

Emailed the RedCross camp organisers as well, guess what ? - NO REPLY...

I'm beginning to think ... is charity really SOOOO hard to do ... getting frustrated cause I seem to be leading towards nowhere (in my efforts to join the Orientation Camps).

Attended RCIA yesterday, I actually had a SUPERB time ! I thoroughly enjoyed it. To think that only 5 hours before, I was complaining and ranting (bitching if you will) to BS about how I dread RCIA.. the 2.5hour sessions, the care group sessions with their "overly friendly" people (YES ! I'm not exaggerating. I felt they were just overly friendly... its me .. not them ... I'm just not THAT easily trusting.) I like know BS for 13+ going 14years now, and I only began sharing REAL personal stuff with him in recent years (like maybe the last 2 ???)

I read somewhere that I needa build "a strong social support structure" like a "HQ with high ranking generals I can confide in", on my way to achieving a more "WHOLESOME and well rounded lifestyle". Sometimes, reading too many self help books (I've just been reading 1 actually...) can become a scary thing, cause I began to learn alot about myself (some of which I've tried very hard over the years to bury, under lies, ego, "fantasy believes", and even religion !) It's like they say - The Truth Hurts ! But unlike the accompanying line and I quote "You can't handle the truth !" , I believe I can AND will. With the help of God, self and the "HQ general staff members" !

damn man ... its like 3am now and I cannot sleepzzzz.... Was watching "Step Brothers" with JK in the bunk like 7hours ago ? That was when I fell asleep for about 2hours in the most peculiar manner on the office sofa ! If there's anything I've taken home from the army, it's the ability to sleep in nearly any location and at any time. It's never a matter of if I'll sleep or not, it's a matter how comfortably and when. AND I kid you not - there was once when I was supporting some kind of live firing exercise (like I could here rifles, GPMGs, grenades) going on around me. All I had was the cabin of my 5TON, and I still managed to sleep soundly ! It would have been perfect if I could have left the A/C on, cause then I would not have to deal with mosquitoes.

Today I caught up on sleep at the medical centre while on standby duty. (the weird thing about this place, is that I kept having the "conscious sleeping" or "paralysis sleep" episodes !) I awoke 3 times, thinking that JK had returned with NL and was calling me to wake up, only to realise I could not cause i could not even move my body (its like being trapped in your head ! ) THREE TIMES ! The 4th time, JK was really by my side and nudging me to wake ! He actually told me that he had same experiences ..... and that all the drivers who had slept at where I slept had had that experience - which they attributed to the place being haunted (like thanks for telling me that only after my 1000000th time being in there....) I on the other hand don't really believe in that lar... it's probably the sleeping posture or the room temperature or something.