DAMN CNY/ VDay fever !!!! arghh ...

something plagues my heart ! i liken it to somekind of a virus - it disconnects my thoughts from my feelings (am i making sense here ???)

i went for the usual run today, and i made it only like 1/2 before i had to walk/ jog/ sprint etc. etc. ... even just 20 meters from my house, i felt my heart up to my throat - SERIOUS (hope i make sense here )

the usual 3 step remedy (my own remedy for recovery from loss of stamina)

1. change the music on my ipod to something upbeat (like say from "little superhero girl" to "watcha say" or the one that always gets me going "not gonna get us" by tatu)

2. imagine im a photographer/ soldier running across an open field of MG fire (obviously I "died" to MG fire today ...zzz)

3. recite the 7 SAF core values [loyalty to country, leadership, discipline, professionalism, fighting spirit, ethics, care for soldiers !] normally, I stop at fighting spirit or even loyalty to country before i regain the burst of adrenaline and stamina

next point -> (if i needa do this, im more or less dying already ... this is like some LAST STAND/ FINAL STAND thing [when a badly wounded soldier pulls out his side arm in defiance... like even though he knows he will no longer make it out alive] ) only used this like 3 times at most out of countless runs [since the great "failure" at the standard chart :( ]

4. picture SOMEONE in my head !

BUT ! ALL 4 methods FAILED !!!!!

now when something or some virus comes between me and my ability to run, it becomes personal ! guess i shouldn't have watched that emo show grand torismo before the activity ... something i learnt ...