a dream fulfilled and lost

I've not written in ages... i guess the great stop is due to the helluva emotional and experiential ride of a life I've had since may 16th till up to this moment....

From my ORD and freedom on 11th June, to the various orientation camps between July and Aug, including the LTO BBQs and the carrier factory work I did inbetween... I must say that like the army, I would'nt have given it up for anything in the world !

Anyways, todays post is supposed to be a sad one... I finally got my Leica M8 in August just before school officially started lessons. I had 2 lenses shipped to singapore, and they just arrived last week. Sadly, my M8 decided to die on me on monday evening.. I sent it down to camerahospital and the guy behind the counter told me that it was highly possible that the powerboard was gone, in short, i would have to pay 3000 for repairs, which is more or less the same price as a 2nd hand M8... making my M8 the most expensive display item I ever owned...

what are the implications ???

1. I do not have enough $s to pay for a brand new or 2nd hand M8..

2. I vested all my $s on this M8 when I got it (4yrs worth of buying, selling, saving like cock on all my camera stuffs was inside this M8)

3. even if it can be fixed for a lower price, I probably can't cough it out immediately

4. the EARLIEST time i can foresee myself with a decent camera will be mid next year... which means I go NY with little more than a lousy HP camera or at best a pns .... ( i got this M8 for street photog in NY ... like thanks for fucking me over by getting spoilt !)

What do I tell myself ???? - FUCK MY LIFE ! and even as I type this, I have a test to START studying for which is on next friday, a project to carry out which requires me to go down to sembwawang for 3 days next week (rmemeber the test on friday !) AND a retarded 700 word essay tts due on friday too.... just fucking kill me already... i'm literally single, broke and desperate .... so I say agian , FML...