ramblings.... ignore this post...

Its pretty amazing how quickly the tides of change come about, how subtly Lady Luck makes herself scarce, and how Miss Fortune can discretely but quickly charms her way into our lives. My mum once told me, that if you trip at the entrance of a store, venture out of it and refrain from conducting business within its confines. Today, this phrase which has been etched into my mind (one of the many lessons a parent passes down to the child and the child to his own child) comes back to mock me.

I would have never known that when I tripped at the entrance of the store in this country and was taught that very lesson, it would lay buried deep in the recesses of my mind only to resurface at this very same location today to spit on my face.

Ok. Enough with the pleasantries, I will get straight to what is digging at my neck and sucking the life blood out of me.... slowly but surely....

The trip to this place... I never liked it from the very beginning... not only did it bring back the many memories of my lonely and boring desk job when I was here slightly over a year ago, it meant leaving behind a sort of new found happiness I was given earlier on. Aside from that, there was the incident during the registration for this trip, which I may consider my trip on the door step of this trip. Back then I was still able to walk away from this place, but perhaps curiosity and stubborn pride let me back here.

And here I was again. I came here with discontent, anger, sorrow, hate, pity, pride, and many more feelings and preset conceptions I had for this place, but all this changed. It seemed that I quite enjoyed it here after all, infact I once thought to myself, how did I condition my mind to think the way it did in the first few days of this trip. However, just as there is white and then there is black, and there's good and there's evil, and left and right. JUST when I was getting on well with things, some guy OR SOMETHING has the nasty habit of FUCKING it all up for you. "Fucking it all up" logically speaking now, is a gross overstatement, but that's just how I feel now.

Anyways... everything on this front seems fine, but there's just this situation/ problem now in my life that's bugging away at me..... I guess if life was a bed of roses, there'de be no reason to live right? I'll strongly stand up and face this problem. Sadly, my key witness has been rendered useless..... but I guess that's just the way things are - the more upper the ladder you go, the harder your problems.... makes me wonder sometimes, whether the happier people are really the bosses or the peasants....

To Whom It May Concern - FUCK you! Told you many times this problem would surface, but you never did shit about it... and I thought you were my friend.... (this time I mean it... of the countless times I've used this phrase....)